If you’re considering adoption, you most likely have a lot of questions. We’re here to help. Some of the more common questions birth mothers ask are below. If you’d like to discuss your specific situation with our team, fill out the contact form on this page or call us at the number above.
I’m pregnant. What are my options?
Today, a mother facing an unplanned pregnancy has several options available to her: abortion, parenting or adoption. Trained counselors are available to discuss options with a birth mother and help her make the decision that is right for her and her baby.
What is adoption?
It is a way to provide a child with love, stability and support. Adoption is not “giving away” a baby. Adoption is making a courageous decision to give a child a better life. It is recognizing that you are not ready to parent your child. It is a wonderful gift for your child and a waiting parent or couple that is ready to build a family.
Is it right for me?
Think about all the things a mother has to do. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Then, think about all the things you want to do. If you are not sure that you are ready for that responsibility, think carefully about your choices. Your decision will affect the rest of your life – and your child’s.
Financial assistance is available to you for pregnancy related expenses, including ordinary living expenses, medical costs, counseling and legal advice.
You can choose a family for your child. You can meet them and have as little or as much contact with them as you choose. You can spend time with your baby after delivery. Your baby will be placed with the loving family you have selected. You can receive updates on your child as he grows. Or not. The choice is yours.
How do I know my baby will be well cared for?
Every adoptive parent undergoes a rigorous investigative process called a home study or preplacement assessment to ensure that they are suitable to be parents and can provide a good home to a child. Yes, they will love your child just as if it was their own. Adoptive parents have chosen to assume the responsibilities of parenthood and have shown they are ready to do so.
How will I emotionally handle “giving my baby away?”
Placing a child for adoption is a difficult decision. Our counselors are trained to help you sort through your feelings and help you. Knowing what to expect is important. Our counselors will help you find comfort in knowing that your decision will provide you and your child with greater opportunities in life.
What will my child think of me?
Adoptive parents explain that your decision was made out of love and with the best interest of your child in mind. From a very early age, most adoptive parents tell their children of the special love their birth parents have for them. As a result, most adoptive children grow up feeling love for their birth parents.
Can I see my baby again if I want to?
In the past, adoptions were always closed, meaning that birth parents and adoptive parents never met or had any information about each other. Now, you have a choice. Many people are choosing an “open” adoption arrangement. What it means is determined by the birth parents and adoptive parents by mutual agreement.
For the birth mother, it means you can participate in choosing a family for your child. You can meet them and have as little or as much contact with them as you choose. You can see your baby after delivery, hold your baby, name the baby and spend as much time with the baby at the hospital as you choose. You can receive updates on your child as he grows. Or not. The choice is yours. Agreements regarding future contact are permitted. They are not legally enforceable. I recommend that any understanding be reduced to writing.
What about the father?
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, there are always many questions about the father’s rights.
Can my baby’s father force me to obtain an abortion?
No. It is totally your decision. It is totally your decision whether no not to carry your pregnancy to term.
Can my baby’s father prevent me from obtaining an abortion?
No. Again, it is totally your decision.
Does an unwed father have the right to parent his child?
Only if he does certain things to protect his rights as a parent. An unwed father must show his commitment to parenting before his parental interests are entitled to protection.
Does an unwed father have to give his consent before his child can be placed for adoption?
No. Not automatically. He must do certain things to protect his interests as a parent and establish his right consent to the adoption. If he fails to act, then his consent may not be required.
What Expenses Can Adoptive Parents Pay?
Adoptive parents are permitted to pay for medical, counseling and legal expenses and any actual, reasonable, ordinary living expense incurred during the pregnancy and the six week period following delivery.
Can I change My Mind?
In North Carolina, a birth mother may execute a consent to adoption any time after the child is born. A father may execute a consent either before or after the child is born. A birth parent who consents to adoptive placement or executes a relinquishment for adoption may revoke his/her consent. A consent to the adoption of a child may be revoked within 7 days following the day on which the consent by a parent is executed, inclusive of weekends and holidays. If the final day of the revocation period falls on a weekend or legal holiday when North Carolina courthouses are closed for transactions, then the revocation period extends to the next business day.
In an independent placement, if physical placement of the child occurs before the preplacement assessment is given to the parent or guardian who is placing the minor, then the revocation period is extended five business days after the date the individual receives the preplacement assessment or the remainder of the seven-day time period, whichever is longer.
How do I find out more?
Contact us for more information. Trained counselors are available. They will listen without judging. They will provide the information you need to help you make the right decision without pressure. Call us today at 919-617-5055 or fill out the form to the right to get started!
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